Any woman who has participated in a wedding understands there is a long list of rules of etiquette to be followed. And while it is easy to understand the basic rules, there are others that are often overlooked. When it comes to the pre-wedding parties, there are a few rules the bride must follow in order to show her appreciation for the work others put into creating a special prelude to her big day.

Customarily, the maid or matron of honor plans and hosts the bridal shower. As eager as the bride may be to get the ball rolling on the festivities, it is neither appropriate for her to throw a party for herself nor to expect the work will be done by others. The reason for this lies in the fact that bridal showers are parties created specifically to help “set up house” for the new couple. It is this gift-giving atmosphere that makes it especially important that the bride not throw her own party or nag her friends to do it for her.

The bride can help make things easier for party attendees by utilizing a gift registry program at local stores. In order to make it clear that presents are not the bride’s focus, make sure to include the registry information separately from the invitation itself. The party hostess is responsible for providing party goers with the gift registry information either personally or on a small note included with the invitation.
When creating the guest list, it is important the bride only invites people who are also invited to the wedding, so as to not appear greedy for gifts from those outside the intimate group of wedding guests. However, many friends and colleagues chose to have a party for the bride even if they aren’t invited to the wedding. In this case, be humble and especially gracious.

During the bridal shower, the bride should make an all-out effort to personally thank each and every guest by speaking directly with them. This is a wonderful opportunity to not only thank them for their participation in the celebration, but also for the gift. However, just saying, “Thank you for the fourth crock pot of the day,” will not suffice. A timely, hand-written thank you note is a must.

Make sure to have someone in the group write down the names of people and the gifts they gave. Refer to this list when writing personal thank you notes to attendees. Consider saying more than a mere “thank you” in the note. Add a personal touch by thanking the person for being a part of your special day, mentioning a specific moment they were a part of, and how much you look forward to using the gift they gave you. Then, do your best to have all the thank you notes in the mail within a week after the party.

And above all else, be sincere. While the weeks before the wedding are usually fraught with stress and anxiety, don’t let this factor into your attitude during the celebrations. Smile, enjoy the attention, and be gracious.