The first indication that a loved one is about to get hitched usually comes in the form of a bridal shower invitation. Essentially it’s a wedding announcement, which is why bridal shower invitations are so special. Family and friends will turn out on that day to celebrate a growing family and offer love and support through that old custom of gift giving—entwined with marriage since perhaps the first man and woman said “I do.”

However, Bridal showers as we know them are basically an American custom. Grand Rapids, Michigan, is where America’s very first bridal shower is said to have taken place in 1890. Since those days, of course, the traditions of bridal showers and marriage have changed. But even today, bridal shower invitations still reflect traditional values that emphasize family, femininity and the sanctity of marriage.

There’s no right or wrong way to make a bridal shower invitation. Whether to be formal or informal should be decided by the future bride and the bridal shower host. Types of invitations run the gamut; they can be formally engraved, adorned with cute little bows, feature fancy writing, or silly with cartoons. Above all, a bridal shower invitation should convey the wedding theme while including a dose of the bride’s personality. Invitations can be handmade or custom printed. Some hostesses prefer to deliver their invitations personally, while others send them in the mail, or even email.

In comparison men’s bachelor parties–during which time the groom and his close friends get together to bid bachelorhood farewell during a long night of drinking and professional dancers in some instances–there’s no doubt that the bridal shower is a more special occasion, bringing together the bride-to-be along with friends and family to not just receive gifts and share wisdom and reminisce, but it’s a marriage preparation ritual. When comparing bachelor parties and bridal showers, it’s clear which one is more symbolic and meaningful.

Usually it’s up to the Bridesmaids or sometimes the Maid-of-Honor to organize and host the occasion, although it’s not unheard of for one of the bride’s close friends to be asked to host the bridal shower. According to traditional etiquette, a gift-giving event hosted by the bride’s family is improper so a non-family member is the best candidate to invite guests to come bearing gifts for the bride. Wedding consultants, if already on board for the wedding, can also be helpful with the bridal shower.

And, of course, before any invitations go out, the bride should peruse the guest list in case there are any names she wishes to add or omit. When deciding on a theme for the bridal shower, you can’t go wrong by choosing one that reflects the bride’s interests and personality.

Since the very first bridal shower more than 100 years ago, traditions relating to marriage have changed a great deal, yet some things remain unchanged. For instance, asking for money (or anything specific) as a bridal shower gift is still considered extremely poor etiquette. Simply do not include requests in your invitation. If you’ve chosen the right guests—close family and friends who love the bride—they will pick an appropriate gift.